Why wouldn’t I have expected the Accuser to work to steal, kill and destroy all the wonderful things that God graced me with over the weekend. I had not guarded my heart against the wiles of the wicked one. The darts included guilt, confusion, self reliance, fear, loneliness, hyper sensitivity and more. In essence, I was nuts!!

Now, one reason for my insanity may have partially been due to the fact that I am prone to mood swings for which I am medicated. But, here’s the problem. I’ve been out of my meds since September 30 (corrected from previous statement of “last Saturday”).

After Ed passed away, I began taking a slightly higher dose, which caused my Rx to run out sooner. Since it is a controlled medication, they won’t refill it until the earliest legal date, the 19th. So I’ve been in withdrawal.

I find it interesting that the 19th would have been Ed’s 70th birthday. He always wanted to live to be 70 because his Mom and his sister didn’t. So, let’s add that to the list of reasons to be crazy!

Then last evening I had enough! I moved my focus back onto the Giver of all good things. Instead of asking Him to take away my pain and confusion, I asked Him to show me Himself in the middle of it all. I intentionally and purposefully turned my eyes back to Him.

Now, it’s possible that I may feel emotional distress for a few more days, He will carry me through it. Praise His holy name!!